


Feeling Like a Million Spacebucks

by slightlytookish



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Costumes, Crossdressing, M/M, One of My Favorites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-03
Updated: 2011-11-03
Packaged: 2017-10-25 16:17:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slightlytookish/pseuds/slightlytookish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At a Halloween party Gwaine wears a wedding dress, broods about the lonely life of a geek, and somehow manages to meet his match.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feeling Like a Million Spacebucks

**Author's Note:**

> Written for gwaine_quest's Oktoberquest. Thank you to alba17 for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

Just because he was wearing a tattered wedding dress with the sleeves cut off and the hem mostly torn away didn't mean Gwaine was dressed as the Bride of Frankenstein, no matter what Arthur said. His hair was all wrong, for one thing. Not to mention that the cigar ought to have been a dead giveaway.

Gwaine couldn't help feeling a little disappointed as he retreated to the cobwebbed bar and poured himself a drink. This was the problem with having friends whose geeky interests didn't extend beyond casually watching Doctor Who. There was no room in their (cold, soulless) hearts to appreciate the truly silly side of geekdom.

He tried to convert them over the years with very limited success (see: Doctor Who) but for the most part his efforts were consistently met with mockery and confusion. When a misguided attempt to introduce them to 1960s Batman quickly turned into an afternoon of ridiculing inflatable sharks, Gwaine finally admitted to himself that this was why his friends couldn't have nice things, and gave them up as a lost cause.

So here he was contemplating the plastic bats and spiders dangling from the ceiling at Arthur's sister's Halloween party, surrounded by people dressed as witches and werewolves and nothing more head-scratching than a small knot of girls that apparently thought pyjamas could double as costumes.

Gwaine was used to feeling like the odd one out - he'd felt that way all his life, really - but this was just sad. When he'd arrived earlier everyone had turned to look at him, and in that sea of masked and painted faces he hadn't glimpsed a shred of understanding from anyone, at least not until Arthur started calling him the Bride of Frankenstein.

And Gwaine went along with it, because he had a feeling that telling people he was actually Princess Vespa's stunt double wouldn't go over very well.

He sipped at his drink and tried not to pout. It was his own fault anyway for not coming as a vampire or a penguin or something else that most people would actually recognise. At least Morgana had seemed pleased by his costume if her shrieking, "I love boys in skirts!" into his ear had been any indication. It was her party after all, and she'd provided enough alcohol to rival any pub. Gwaine thought she deserved to be happy.

He was so busy concentrating on not sulking that he didn't realise someone else had joined him until he heard a warm voice against his ear.

"Would I be completely out of line if I suddenly shouted, 'You idiots! You've captured their stunt doubles!'"

If it was possible to fall in love with a voice, Gwaine thought, he'd be in very serious danger of it right now. As it happened, the voice belonged to a rather gorgeous guy with an alien roaring its way out of his chest, which meant that Gwaine had gone straight past 'danger' to 'utterly doomed.'

"Not at all," Gwaine said once he was certain he wouldn't do something completely unwise (but extremely fun) like tackle the guy to the floor and kiss him. "Though I can't promise how the others would react."

"Probably the same way they did when they first saw my costume," he said, laughing so that his eyes crinkled. At that moment a girl dressed as Tinkerbell walked past and regarded the alien protruding from his shirt with a look of deep disdain before making a quick escape.

"See what I mean?" he said, still grinning.

"The life of a geek is a lonely and misunderstood one," Gwaine said cheerfully, as if he hadn't been brooding over that very thought not half an hour ago. He snagged a glass and poured another drink. "I'm Gwaine, by the way," he said as he handed it over.

"Merlin." He took a gulp and coughed. "What is that?"

Gwaine squinted at the bottle. "Witch's Brew. Delightful, isn't it?"

"Ugh. That sounds like one of Morgana's bright ideas." He took another sip nonetheless and Gwaine took the opportunity to admire the long and very impressive lines of Merlin's neck.

Merlin caught him at it of course, because Gwaine was many things but subtle wasn't one of them. Not that Merlin seemed to mind; in fact, he returned it with a look up and down that would have made someone far more innocent than Gwaine blush like a giddy schoolgirl. "I'm surprised you didn't dress as Lone Starr."

"I considered it," Gwaine said. "But I didn't want to shave my beard and cut my hair so I chose the humble life of a stunt double instead."

Merlin's eyes were crinkling happily again. "That always was my second favourite scene. Well, it's probably more like the third. Or - actually, I'm not sure. I can't decide."

Gwaine laughed. "Nothing quite compares to the singing alien, does it?" He studied Merlin's rendition more closely. It really was impressive, with its red eyes and pointed teeth and outstretched arms, and the slime Merlin had used to decorate his pea-green shirt added a nice touch. "Did you make it yourself? It's incredible."

Merlin looked down at it, his expression turning bashful in a way that Gwaine absolutely didn't find endearing. "I carved it out of polystyrene. I used clay at first but it was too heavy to attach to my shirt. It's not as good as I'd hoped - I wanted to make a full-sized one too, with a little hat and cane, but I ran out of time. I didn't even have a chance to fix the left arm on this one before painting it. Look, you can see it's a little shorter -" He glanced up and caught sight of Gwaine's wide-eyed expression. "What is it?"

"Merlin," he said, solemnly taking his hand. "I think I'm in love with you."

"I bet you say that to everyone," Merlin said, laughing, but he didn't pull his hand away either.

"Only the ones that make aliens out of polystyrene," Gwaine promised.

A mischievous glint appeared in Merlin's eyes. "But what was it you were going on about earlier?" He tugged Gwaine closer so that they were crowding into each other's space with only the length of a polystyrene alien's torso to separate them. "Something about geeks living lonely lives?"

"Maybe it's not so lonely after all," Gwaine admitted. "But it is cruel, because I want to kiss you only there's an alien in the way."

"It's detachable," Merlin said, pulling it off with a rip of velcro and setting it on the bar.

Gwaine looked at that little angry alien face nestled between the bottles and thought, yeah, he really should have worn a Lone Starr costume after all because this must be how it felt to be offered a million spacebucks. "Just a fair bit of warning, Merlin: if you continue to be this amazing I'll have to marry you."

Merlin rolled his eyes but was smiling all the same. "Well, you're already wearing the dress," he said, before dragging Gwaine into a kiss.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Feeling Like a Million Spacebucks](https://archiveofourown.org/works/374861) by [growlery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/growlery/pseuds/growlery)




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